hello milliways

[callmeleo]

Another day, another mysterious bar appearing out of nowhere. Leo is acquainted with Milliways and its lurking habits. He doesn't even bother calling Zanna; it'd take her too long to come over, and they get doors fairly regularly, so he just goes in and gets some absinthe with crushed cochineal. (Demonic tastes make for very odd mixed drinks.)

Comments

[callmeleo]

"I am not what you'd call a pedigree human. Mom's Ataman, they're these shadowy shapeshifting demon things that catch fire when exposed to fruit. That gives me a taste for beetles, a bit of shadow-magic, and a very severe allergy to citric acid. Oh, and my blood's darker than it should be."

[liakoura]

"...Catch fire when exposed to fruit? That sounds like a trait that somebody made up flipping to random pages in different books. And doesn't tell me what a demon is."

[callmeleo]

"Hey, don't insult my heritage. It's a perfectly legitimate reason to catch fire, fruit's a symbol of the harvest and we're creatures of decay. Demons are... sentient things, usually somewhat human-shaped, that are not human. Usually from another world. Often eat people, though not in our species' case."

[liakoura]

"Super reassured on the not eating people thing, I had been so worried before."

[callmeleo]

"Well, if I left out the last bit you'd have an incomplete explanation. I can just see you trying to make nice with a Kinderstod and getting your eyes bitten out. Though you probably won't meet one, given you're from another world."

[liakoura]

"Okay, note to self, don't enter any more weirdly-behaving doors without Kiri along."

[callmeleo]

"Oh, they wouldn't do it in here. Milliways is neutral territory. Very, very neutral. You start anything here, Security comes along, and Security will be prepared."

[liakoura]

"So I'm not going to have this problem. Which is good. I like my eyes."

[callmeleo]

"You're not. It's just an entertaining thought." He sips at his horrible licorice beetle drink.

[liakoura]

"...Why is contemplating my eyes being bitten out entertaining?"

[callmeleo]

"...That probably sounds bad, doesn't it. Sorry, I've got a particular sense of humor. Death doesn't really faze you so much when your high school has a 30% mortality rate. So I get a bit 'ha ha, what if his eyes were eaten because he thought demons were cuddly' about things."

[liakoura]

"Why do people still go to your school?"

[callmeleo]

"Eh. The Hellmouth convinces people to come to town, they bring their kids, the kids have to go to the school. I don't think the mortality rate's that much better elsewhere, anyway. Teenagers do have a tendency to get eaten."

[liakoura]

"Your world sounds like, uh, what's a diplomatic way to say total shit? What's a Hellmouth?"

[callmeleo]

"Hellmouth: Dormant portal to one of any number of extremely unpleasant hell dimensions. Magically useful, tends to attract the nastier kind of demons. And humans, for food supply. And yes, I'm aware of the shittiness. I like it alright, though. I take care of myself, and it does mean I get to use magic, which is cool. Plus, my best friend's technically included in the shittiness, being a murderous vampire, and I'd hate to have to do without her."

[liakoura]

"You must have really different magic than we do. What is a vampire. Do I want to know what a vampire is. What is a hell dimension. Same meta-question."

[callmeleo]

"Magic is fun, easy, and useful, and anyone who doesn't use it is an idiot, I don't care if human users get nosebleeds and aneurysms. Vampires are soulless monsters who drink people's blood and often have a thing about the apocalypse, and a hell dimension is a very, very unpleasant place full of demons."

[liakoura]

"Okay, in my world five people can use magic that's magic enough to notice and it doesn't give them nosebleeds and aneurysms. Unless they get in a fight with the Lalindar prime, I guess. Why is your world so terrible?"

[callmeleo]

"Really, it's only particularly terrible if you're a human. For me it's pretty fun."

[liakoura]

"My world only has humans. And like. Dogs and stuff."

[callmeleo]

"Seems a bit boring, really. No offense to humans, but I wouldn't want to have to deal with nothing but them all day. Also, five people? Really? Seems a bit anemic."

[liakoura]

"There's five magic families and the heads of them have magic and when they die somebody else in the family with the family personality turns up with it," explains Aleko. "Kiri's the prime of the Ardelays, so she does fire and spooky mind stuff."

[callmeleo]

"Huh. Suzanna'd like her, then, fire and spooky mind stuff are her specialty."

[liakoura]

"If this is the same person as your murder friend, Kiri would not like her. Kiri does not approve of murder."

[callmeleo]

"Aw. Zanna wouldn't really care, but that's a shame."