hello milliways

[callmeleo]

Another day, another mysterious bar appearing out of nowhere. Leo is acquainted with Milliways and its lurking habits. He doesn't even bother calling Zanna; it'd take her too long to come over, and they get doors fairly regularly, so he just goes in and gets some absinthe with crushed cochineal. (Demonic tastes make for very odd mixed drinks.)

Comments

[callmeleo]

"I mean, I've had other interesting experiences here, but Bar's got a weird sense of humor. Or whoever runs the door, her boss I guess. It's not an unusually weird priority, is what I'm saying."

[liakoura]

"Why, what else have you had happen here?"

[callmeleo]

"Mm... I've been here a couple dozen times, they've all been some kind of interesting. I met another of Zanna once, she had pointy ears and some kind of weird blood powers. She turned me into a meat puppet for a bit. It was fun. And this one time I saw a little girl who said she'd tell me how to take over the world if I bought her mashed potatoes. There was the lady with the facial tattoos and the spaceship. The league of tiny men. A dragon tried to punch me in the face. Miscellaneous talking birds."

[liakoura]

"Why did a dragon try to punch you in the face?"

[callmeleo]

"...Linguistic missteps. There was a lot of cultural baggage to it, as far as I could tell, but I only got as far as saying 'but could you say this word in your weird magic language' before he was screaming and punching."

[liakoura]

"That's very strange."

[callmeleo]

"Yep. We were getting along so well, too. But it was certainly interesting."

[liakoura]

"I'll give you that."

[callmeleo]

"Anyway, I like Milliways even given its weird priorities. It's a fun place. Plus Bar gave me and Zanna an absolutely terrifying library, which she's very pleased with."

[liakoura]

"What makes a library terrifying?"

[callmeleo]

"Knowledge is power. And with the right books, that becomes extremely literal. That library contains enough magic that we have to use searching spells just to find the spells we want. That kind of power in Zanna's hands should frighten anyone. It doesn't frighten me, but I think we've established that I don't make sense."

[liakoura]

"Yep. Apparently it doesn't frighten Bar either?"

[callmeleo]

"I don't know that she gets frightened. I'm sure she'd be politely exasperated if we sucked the West Coast into Quor'toth or something, but Zanna's not one for senseless destruction. Sensible destruction, but she's never been one to just want the apocalypse for its own sake."

[liakoura]

"...Good?"

[callmeleo]

"Well, given the fact that she's a vampire that's saying a lot. They're usually quite into the apocalypse. It's kind of a thing for them."

[liakoura]

"Why? Who benefits from apocalypses?"

[callmeleo]

"You know, I'm not quite sure. They just really like it. Seriously, there's usually between three and ten attempted apocalypses per year, whether by vampires or various other demons. A couple years back one of them tried to usher in eternal night, that's at least beneficial to them, but- apocalypses."

[liakoura]

"I'm glad I don't live there."

[callmeleo]

"Well, nobody's succeeded yet."

[liakoura]

"It'd make me nervous just to have neighbors who were trying."

[callmeleo]

"Reasonable. You can stick to your world with its five wizards and horoscope magic."

[liakoura]

"I mean, what else would I do, I haven't been offered a shopping list of places, just your scary apocalypse-land and home. Also I can't get Kiri, it would be a problem."

[callmeleo]

"I offer no criticism. Your world sounds perfectly nice, there's no apocalypses. I'm just inclined to defend my homeland, no matter how objectively shit it may be."

[liakoura]

"Fair enough. I mean, my country's got a shit king? But the next in line's all right."

[callmeleo]

"We don't have kings! Our leaders are fairly shit, though. Not that it really matters to me, considering I'm an independently wealthy demonspawn, but it's probably not much fun for the humans."