hello milliways

[callmeleo]

Another day, another mysterious bar appearing out of nowhere. Leo is acquainted with Milliways and its lurking habits. He doesn't even bother calling Zanna; it'd take her too long to come over, and they get doors fairly regularly, so he just goes in and gets some absinthe with crushed cochineal. (Demonic tastes make for very odd mixed drinks.)

Comments

[callmeleo]

"Anyway, I like Milliways even given its weird priorities. It's a fun place. Plus Bar gave me and Zanna an absolutely terrifying library, which she's very pleased with."

[liakoura]

"What makes a library terrifying?"

[callmeleo]

"Knowledge is power. And with the right books, that becomes extremely literal. That library contains enough magic that we have to use searching spells just to find the spells we want. That kind of power in Zanna's hands should frighten anyone. It doesn't frighten me, but I think we've established that I don't make sense."

[liakoura]

"Yep. Apparently it doesn't frighten Bar either?"

[callmeleo]

"I don't know that she gets frightened. I'm sure she'd be politely exasperated if we sucked the West Coast into Quor'toth or something, but Zanna's not one for senseless destruction. Sensible destruction, but she's never been one to just want the apocalypse for its own sake."

[liakoura]

"...Good?"

[callmeleo]

"Well, given the fact that she's a vampire that's saying a lot. They're usually quite into the apocalypse. It's kind of a thing for them."

[liakoura]

"Why? Who benefits from apocalypses?"

[callmeleo]

"You know, I'm not quite sure. They just really like it. Seriously, there's usually between three and ten attempted apocalypses per year, whether by vampires or various other demons. A couple years back one of them tried to usher in eternal night, that's at least beneficial to them, but- apocalypses."

[liakoura]

"I'm glad I don't live there."

[callmeleo]

"Well, nobody's succeeded yet."

[liakoura]

"It'd make me nervous just to have neighbors who were trying."

[callmeleo]

"Reasonable. You can stick to your world with its five wizards and horoscope magic."

[liakoura]

"I mean, what else would I do, I haven't been offered a shopping list of places, just your scary apocalypse-land and home. Also I can't get Kiri, it would be a problem."

[callmeleo]

"I offer no criticism. Your world sounds perfectly nice, there's no apocalypses. I'm just inclined to defend my homeland, no matter how objectively shit it may be."

[liakoura]

"Fair enough. I mean, my country's got a shit king? But the next in line's all right."

[callmeleo]

"We don't have kings! Our leaders are fairly shit, though. Not that it really matters to me, considering I'm an independently wealthy demonspawn, but it's probably not much fun for the humans."

[liakoura]

"What's wrong with yours?"

[callmeleo]

"Can't get anything done, not very nice to the poor, slow and belligerent about granting various groups their rights. And just generally unpleasant people, for the most part."

[liakoura]

"King doesn't care much about doing his job, just installs people he happens to like doing everything and is a dick to his family. It lets things rattle along okay when he's not looking, though. And he doesn't get to pick primes."

[callmeleo]

"Well, he'll die eventually. I could lay a curse on him if you'd like to speed it up and have something with a connection to him, would that be worthwhile? You can prop the door open or I could take a vacation to Horoscope Land for a few weeks or months until I next find a door."

[liakoura]

"Oh, hey, that didn't even occur to me, you could come to my world, you'd fascinate Kiri. Miniature Pocket Kiri is ambivalent about cursing the king to the point where it's worth asking Actual Kiri. You want to come visit?"

[callmeleo]

"Eh, Milliways will... probably... stop time back home for me. If not, Mom and Zanna can scry me after a few days and that'll tell them I haven't been eaten or anything. And it's not like my knitting circle's going to miss me. I'd want to take some books for curses and generally witching at your kingdom, though... I'll get them from Bar, that's what the expense fund is for. And I assume room and board won't be a problem given you have three houses and a wing of the palace."

[liakoura]

"Oh, yeah, Kiri'll put you in a guest room. We're in the big estate now, lots of room. How do you feel about letting her mind-read you?"

[callmeleo]

"My thoughts might be a bit cloudy on account of shadowbrain, and, uh, they might be more unpleasant than she's used to because of apocalyptic hellworld, but she's welcome to go for it, I may have mentioned that I'm not one of those 'unimpeachable sanctity of the mind' types."